Funny FFX Stuff
by silenced-and-blinded
Summary: **CHAPTER 3 IS UP!!** The rating jumped cuz of ch. 2. Just a bunch of funny FFX stuff. Each chapter will be different, so if I get good reviews I'll keep adding more! R&R pls!
1. You know You've Played Too Much When...

Disclaimer: I don't own FFX or any of its characters.

A/N: I was just sitting in my creative writing class looking through fanfiction.net when I came upon a fic like this.  It inspired me to make one of my own, and hopefully, it'll be original as many ppl did fics like this.  R&R pls!  Check out my other stories as well (especially Painful Blood)!

You Know You've Played FFX Waaaaay Too Much When…

1) You don't think it's possible to play FFX too much (I agree!)

2) You've won the Aurochs' blitzball game…. ever

3) You get a kitty cat and name him Kimahri

4) You will only go out with a guy if he looks like Tidus (I wish…)

5) You will only go out with a girl if she looks like Yuna

6) You're trying to convince your mom to get you two different colored contacts like Yuna's (guilty… hey I need them anyway!)

7) You actually _did _get two different colored contacts like Yuna's

8) You'd swear you saw Auron at the mall

9) You'd swear that Sin is living in your bathtub

10) You have any pets named after any characters from the game (double guilty… my two hamsters are named Tidus and Yuna!)

11) You try and play blitzball in your bathtub (try being the key word in that sentence)

12) You paint over a soccer ball to make it look like a blitzball

13) You set up a telephone service to help Ronsos learn proper English

14) In school, you write papers using Al Bhed 

15) You try and teach your cat Ronso Rage

16) You lock yourself in your room and threaten not to come out until you win a game of blitzball (and you come out with a long beard and wrinkles)

17) You talk like Wakka on a regular basis (ya!)

18) You send Lulu's picture into Playboy because you claim she's hotter than any of those models

19) You alter your appearance to look like one of the characters

20) You have a shrine in the back of your closet dedicated to Tidus/Yuna (think Helga on Hey Arnold)

21) You've been grounded many a time for beating your siblings up because you think he/she is actually Seymour

22) You carry a stuffed animal wherever you go

23) You try and make that stuffed animal attack people you don't like

24) When you forget to study for a test, you tell your teacher you can't remember a thing because of Sin's "toxin" and your head's all fuzzy

25) You are told many times that you need psychiatric help because you go around looking for corpses to try and send to the Farplane

26) You dream about FFX (verrrry guilty)

27) You buy a trenchcoat that is ten sizes too big and let your arm rest in it instead of putting it in the sleeve

28) You make a sphere grid using your friend's pictures and show it to them.  They are not impressed

29) You try and make a FFX musical and convince your friends to be in it

30) You take your bf/gf to a lake and try to act out the Lake Macalania scene with him/her.  You get dumped because you accidentally call them Tidus/Yuna

31) You make a list of possible last names for the characters to see which one will fit when you marry them

32) You go into a pharmacy and ask where the potions and phoenix downs are

33) On your family vacation to SeaWorld, you think 'Hey, this would be a great place for a blitzball game'!

34) You can relate to three or more items on this list

35) You write a list like this!

Well, how was it?  Funny?  Stupid?  Have suggestions?  I'll take 'em all, but please be warned that flames will be used for the making of s'mores.  If I get at least 5 reviews, I'll add another chapter!  Thanx! 


	2. Job Applications

Disclaimer: I don't own FFX or any of its characters.  But…. You should already know all that junk.

A/N: Wow!  A lot of people really like this, so here's more Funny FFX Stuff for your lyao pleasure!

Chapter Two: FFX Job Applications

First Name: Tidus

Last Name: Uh….. I thought this was multiple choice….

Age: 17

Sex: I swear I'm a dude!!

Hair Color: Blonde…. Duh!

Eye Color: Blue or…. something

Residence: Zanarkand, I guess, but it's in ruins now so….. does that even count??

Previous Jobs: I was a star blitzball player for the Zanarkand Abes!!  Oh wait, that isn't exactly a _job _is it…. Heh heh….  Oh yeah!  I worked at McDonalds once!!

Hobbies: Blitzball….. proving blondes really _are _dumb…..  Guess that's about it. 

**A/N: No offense to _any _blondes out there, cuz I'm a blonde too!**

First Name: Yuna

Last Name: I do not have one.  Thank you for asking though.

Age: 17

Sex: Are you crazy??  Of course I've never had sex!!  How could you even _think _such a thing?!

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Left: Blue, Right: Green

Residence: Spira

Previous Jobs: Hmmm, let's see…. I've worked at various nightclubs around Spira….. whoops!  I mean… I have no previous work experience….

Hobbies: It would be highly offensive if I wrote anything down here.

First Name: Kimahri

Last Name: No

Age: No

Sex: No

Hair Color: No

Eye Color: No

Residence: No

Previous Jobs: No

Hobbies: No

First Name: Seymour

Last Name: Butts!!  Haha!!!  No, I'm joking!  But I fooled ya for a minute there!  Get it?!  Seymour….. butts!!!!  HAHAHAHA!!!!

Age: It is not proper for a lady to reveal her true age….. I mean….. I'm 35.  Yeah, that's it….. I'm 35…..

Sex: According to my voice, I'm female.  According to the way I look, I'm female.  But I swear I'm a male!!  I can prove it too!  It's just I really don't think you'd like to see that right now…..

Hair Color: It is the loveliest shade of blue.

Eye Color: Whatever you want them to be, babe…. *winks*

Residence: I'm not really sure, but Lady Yuna once told me to go to hell, so I'll just put that.

Previous Jobs: I was a maester once, but that didn't go so hot, cause I died….  Aw shit!  I guess I just screwed my chances of getting _this _job….

Hobbies: I like to make people miserable, if that counts.

First Name: Lulu

Last Name: You're not getting it.

Age: Go to hell.

Sex: You know I'm a woman, shit-for-brains.

Hair Color: You're not blind, you tell me!

Eye Color: What the **** do you need to know this for??  I'm applying for a freakin' job at a convenient mart!!

Residence: Like I'm gonna tell you… yeah right!

Previous Jobs: Uh, if I had one, do you think I'd be applying for _this _one?!  Wow, what was your first clue, Sherlock??

Hobbies: Screw this, I'm going home!

Well….. how was it?  I know it's short but it was hard to think of anymore partially amusing ideas.  If anyone has ideas for the characters I missed, lemme know in your review.  Thanks for checking this out!  If I get 4 more reviews (that makes 14) I'll add another chapter.  Cya!


	3. Bloopers

Disclaimer: FFX and its characters aren't mine.  

A/N: Holy Yevon!  I got lotsa reviews!  Whee!  ^_^  Well, as promised, here's the next chapter of Funny FFX Stuff!  Review please!

Chapter Three: FFX Bloopers

Scene: Fans asking for autographs are bombarding Tidus.

Boy: Can you sign this?

Tidus: No prob!

[Another boy holds out a blitzball.]

Boy 2: Please?

Tidus: Alrighty!

[Yet another boy holds out a blitzball.]

Boy 3: Sign my ball too!

[Tidus begins to sign the blitzball, then bursts out laughing.]

Dirctor: What's so funny?

Tidus: The line…..!  He wants me to sign his…… [bursts out laughing again]

Director: Oh geez….  Let's do that scene again.

*Take 2*

Boy: Can you si-

[Tidus begins guffawing uncontrollably.]

Director: Argh!  Tidus!  Get your mind outta the damn gutter and let's finish this scene!

*Take 3*

Boy: Can you sign this?

Tidus: No prob!

[Another boy holds out a blitzball.]

Boy 2: Please?

Tidus: Alrighty!

[Yet another boy holds out a blitzball.]

Boy 3: Sign my ball too!

[Tidus starts laughing so hard he passes out.]

*Take 4*

Director: Okay, let's try this again.

Boy: Can you sign this?

Tidus: No prob!

[Another boy holds out a blitzball.]

Boy 2: Please?

Tidus: Alrighty!

[This time, a girl holds out a blitzball.]

Girl: Sign my ball too!

[Yet again, Tidus laughs.]

Director: What the hell is so funny _this _time?!

Tidus: It's even _funnier _when a girl says it!!!!

Scene: Wakka and Tidus are talking about Yuna in Besaid.

Wakka: She's cute, ya?

Tidus: Well, I'll tell you one thing, that's a fine piece of ass right there!

Yuna: What the…?

[Kimahri races over to Tidus and starts beating the shit out of him.]

Tidus: I….[punch lands]…..was just……[punch lands]…..kidding!! [blacks out] 

Director: Oh, great job, Kim!  You knocked him out!  [sighs]  Is there a doctor in the house?

Meek Stagehand: I-I'm a doctor, sir…

Director: Wha-?  Like hell you are!  Get outta here!  You're fired!

Scene: Yuna comes out of the inn a lot later than everyone else.

Wakka: Hey sleepyhead!

[Yuna grumbles as she walks over to them.]

Tidus: Hey… you're eyes.  They're…. bloodshot!

[Yuna pushes Tidus hard.]

Yuna: What's it to ya?

Director: Hey Yuna…. You okay?

Yuna [obviously drunk]: Yeah yeah.  I'm fine!

[A big stagehand comes onto the set, carrying an armful of empty beer bottles and cans.]

Big Stagehand: I found these in Yuna's dressing room!

Yuna: Hey!  Those are mine!

[Yuna jumps the stagehand and begins beating on him.]

Director: Yuna, how many times do I have to tell you?!  Beer isn't gonna help you remember your lines!  

Scene: Sin first comes to Zanarkand.  Auron is giving Tidus a sword.

Auron: Take it.

[He hands Tidus the large sword.  He can't hold it up and ends of falling to his rear.]

Tidus: Oops!

Auron: You little dumbass!

Director: Cut!

*Take 2*

Auron: Take it.

[Auron proceeds to hand Tidus the sword, but drops it on his foot.  Auron proceeds to hop around the set, gripping his boot in his hands.]

Auron: Ow!!!  My ****ing foot!!!

Director: Man oh man…..  Cut!

*Take 3*

Auron: Take it.

[Auron hands Tidus the sword.  He falls to his rear because it's so big and heavy.]

Tidus: Uhhhh…..

Auron: What is it?

Tidus: Help!  I've fallen and I can't get up!

Director: CUT!!!!!

Scene: A trio of Luca Goers greets the gang.

Wakka: You here to pray for victory too?

Goer 1: Us?  Pray?  

Goer 2: Who needs to pray?  The Luca Goers always win!

Wakka: Oh yeah?  Then why are you here?

Goer 1: We've been praying for some competition this year!

Goer 2: So what's your goal this time?  You gonna "do your best" again?

Goer 3: Ha!  It's too bad your best isn't good enough!  Why even bother showing up?

Tidus: Ummm……

[Everyone waits for him to say his line.]

Tidus: ………I love you, you love me, we're a happy family……..

Director: Okay…… what the hell was _that _supposed to be?!?!

Tidus: I was, um….. improvising.

Director: Does this look like Whose Line Is It Anyway to you?!  You're all starting to _really _piss me off!

Well, how was it?  I know it's not much, but I couldn't think of anymore funny bloopers that were original.  Leave a review please!!  If I get at least 30 good reviews, I'll continue.  Also, if you enjoy FFX (which you apparently do) please check out A Fallen Angel (pka Ties To The Past).  I'd love at least 10 reviews for it, if you'd be so kind.  Thanks!  


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